I’m on vacation!!! So, while I’m away, I’m going to be posting some things that I wrote in the past, I’m also going to be posting some things from friends. Today, my friend Cate, guest posts. You can read more from Cate on her blog.

This week I learned a lot of new things about myself.

I learned that I am awful at strategy. I’m also bad at scrambling letters. If I ever switched careers, I should never get into the airline industry. I need structured goals to push forward. I also need someone to tell me that I can do it.

How did I learn all this? By playing Pocket Planes and Scramble with Friends on my iPhone. (No, I’m not getting paid to reference these games.)

I will not disclose how many hours I played these games this week. I’m not much of a gamer and I had a whopping total of ZERO games on my phone just a couple of weeks ago. So what exactly drove me to go on a gaming spree? (I realize I’m using the word “gaming” loosely here.) A combination of feeling under the weather, the games being somewhat addictive, and being in a general rut made for a very, very unproductive and standstill week.

I’ve encountered a wall of sorts these days. A big wall. I’ve done my fair share of kicking and screaming here. Or should I say… kicking the wall as hard as I can and screaming at the wall as loud as I can. I haven’t been able to “break through” or find a way around or even just get a glimpse of the other side… but something inside keeps telling me that I gotta get there. I heard Glen Hansard (singer/songwriter) recently say that he was at the wall for many years and finally had to go around the entire world to arrive at the other side. That was poignant but also frustrated me. I don’t know that I have enough patience or endurance to go around the entire world. But my only other option is to stay at the wall and that doesn’t seem like a viable option at all. When I say viable, I mean me – my viability. I don’t think I can muster up the will to live on this side of the wall. I either make the trek or bust.

Not to be too serious about games but a part of why I like Pocket Planes is that there are lots of goals to work towards in order to achieve the next milestone. It gives me a sense of purpose to keep flying those planes and to keep expanding my airline. (Let’s not talk about the fact that it’s a false sense of purpose for now.) And though I was pretty awful at Scramble, I’ve noticed a steady improvement the more I try at it. (Again, let’s not talk about how many times I’ve played this week.) Goals and improvement, I can hang my hat on those. I need them in order to feel like there is some purpose. But this trek around the world… I’m unclear what my goals are. I’m not sure about what I’m supposed to improve on. Perhaps that’s why I feel so lost at times.

It’ll take me some time to figure things out and begin the journey. I’ll be the first to admit that I can’t do it alone. I imagine I will need a lot of hand holding. I’m thankful to have companions along the way. I’ll need those people to gently nudge me along (sometimes push, sometimes drag), telling me that it’s worth the pursuit.