A Goodbye Note to Fair-Weather Friends

I am sure they exist in your life too; the people who seem to be there but only when they are in need. The ones who are too busy to talk to you, who never ask about your life, who give vague answers as you question after theirs. But that blinking window on your screen flashes whenever they are in need. And you answer. You give. You hope. Then they are gone, in a quick thanks and a flurry of shoes.

When is it enough? What clues you in to their game? Is it the nagging feeling that you’re being used? That feeling of frustration when you try to speak and find their fleeing backs? Is it the disgust that you feel towards yourself when you realize that they just give you crumbs and a pat on your head like a special pet that they keep around for rainy days? How about the maybes, because you aren’t important enough to be an absolutely?

Or, do you realize when they runaway when you are at your lowest, not bothering to be certain that you are fine. Not asking, not caring? Do you realize then that they never think after your well being? That you are as far from their thoughts as east from west?

What do you do? Do you speak to them? Well, they didn’t care thus far, would they care if you talk to them? Perhaps in this case it’s better to just walk away. So, goodbye fair-weather friend, I wish you well …

Things to do in 2012 …

I haven’t made a list of resolutions, I never really keep them. However, in talking to several friends who have all made resolutions and one who inspired me by writing down an actual list of them, I’ve decided to think about the things I would like to accomplish in 2012, and making my own list.

So, a few days too late, here is a comprehensive list of things I hope to accomplish.

Learning another language:
+ Enough to read a French storybook
+ Enough to learn a French song

Lose some weight!
+ running, or some sort of exercise (2 to 3 times a week)
+ walk more
+ drink less espresso drinks
+ eat more veggies and fruits

Memorize more (poems or psalm):
+ I have several poetry books that I’ve never finished, read at least one poem a week
+ learn one sonnet a month (or a psalm)

Read 70 books this year:
+ read more non-fantasy fiction
+ read 6 (or 12) non-fiction theology books
+ read 6 non-fiction marketing books

Blog more!
+ On my personal blog
+ On my book blog
+ On my writing blog … that is currently hidden.

Journal more
+ In cursive

The day the internet goes dark

Wordpress.com's front page

Today, a lot of sites will be “going dark” in protest against SOPA and PIPA. (these can be viewed on Wikipedia, even though the rest of the site is on blackout)

Wikipedia's redirect page

I am fascinated with the way social media has created an avenue for protest and will be following this to see where it goes. A lot of user generated social sites will be affected if these bills get passed and I wonder what the world will be like without sites like YouTube, or Etsy or Flickr.

Google stands up to SOPA and PIPA

What are your thoughts on these bills?

2011 Highlights and Low-lights

At the beginning of 2011, I came to a decision. Whenever I got an idea (as long as it was feasible), I was going to execute that idea. No over-thinking, no putting it on the back-burner for another day, I’d make the time to do it. Because of that decision I started blogging about books, I revamped this website and bought my domain (shanella.com), I started another tumblr, I blogged every day in April. I went pro on Flickr, I stopped saying that I’d go to Arizona and actually went, I visited DC, I attended the BEA as a Blogger (cheers!!), I attended multiple book signings, and viewed multiple plays.

I did a lot of things that I found satisfying, and a few things that were not so successful (like that expensive gym membership to go swimming and only swimming once!). But, I learned an important lesson … I’ll never get anywhere if I just sit and talk. I have to get up and do. So, I did. I also learned that failure isn’t the end of the worldI feel like I accomplished something, whereas, in 2010, I wasn’t sure what I was doing, why I was doing it and who I was doing it with!

I’ve come up with a couple of highlights and not-so-great-lights for 2011. Let’s start with the meh.

A Short List of Not-So-Great Endeavors and Experiences

Dating: I don’t talk a lot about dating on here, because I don’t date! I don’t like the act of meeting new people, it’s scary and I feel awkward. I’m not a fan of small talk; I don’t really know what to say when it comes to small talk because people have varying levels of privacy and I never know if I am asking the right questions. It’s a muddle, it’s stressful, I dislike it. Of course, I have some social skills, so it works out somehow, but when I get home, I’m so exhausted that I hole myself up in my room and watch Hulu until I fall asleep.

So, when 2011 was dubbed “dating heaven” (don’t ask, I won’t tell) I decided to go out on a limb and try online dating. I mean, meeting new people on a computer, that wouldn’t be awkward at all now, would it? *nods* Let’s just say, that will never happen again. I’d rather go through the awkwardness of meeting a person in real life than meeting them over the tubes. Though, I have to wonder if I have a tendency for self-ambush, especially since I noticed that I only hang out with guys who I know would never ask me out. Maybe that will change in 2012. Or maybe I’ll just go home and watch Hulu/Netflix until I fall asleep. 😉

Working: Whenever someone asks me “What’s new?” I never know what to say, my life seems to consist of working and being at home and the occasional hanging out. So, in the middle of the year, when asked this question, I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t sound like complaining or ranting. I wouldn’t get into it, but in June/July, the situation moved from meh to stifling.

Steve: Not only do I have a tendency to ambush myself. I do not have a tendency for self-preservation, something that came to the surface again after my encounter with Steve. I wouldn’t go into details here (the link says it all) but that was not something I want to experience ever again. Even now, months later, when I think of it, I just feel numb. I’m not sure what this means other than, men can sometimes be creepy. This was probably the worse experience of 2011.

hey, look! A cute dog with a monocle

Moving on to the great things in 2011! *confetti*

A Not-So-Short List of Exceptional Experiences

A New Job!: By the end of summer, I had enough. So, I decided to do what I promised myself I’d do at the beginning of the year. Take action. I made a career change. Going on my love for books and bookish things, I decided to try the publishing industry. I did something else that I hadn’t done before, I networked.

It’s been three months since I started working at my new job, I’m so happy to be where I am right now. It’s not what I would have imagined doing while completing a Computer Science degree at university, but it is something that I enjoy, in a place I enjoy, with the company of people I enjoy and I couldn’t have asked for more.

Les Misérables: I saw a few good plays this year, but the best experience had to be Les Mis. At the beginning of the year, I bought the soundtrack and listened to it on repeat for a while. Then, wanting to see the play I did a bit of research. I had two options, go to London and see the play, or find a touring group. Luckily for me, there was a group touring the US and in October they were going to be at the Kennedy Center in DC. After asking a bunch of people, I found three others who were interested in seeing the play and we took a trip to DC. It was a wonderful experience. I don’t know how to explain it, but I was so invested in seeing this play that I was tearing up through the entire thing. I had done it, I had realized a dream and it was beautiful.

Harry Potter: Call me a fanatic, call me whatever. I will not deny that the elements in the books were not original, but you cannot say that the imagination and execution were nothing short of brilliant. That is why Harry Potter is so successful. I got the chance to attend the midnight release of the last film, but the best Harry Potter experience this year was visiting the recently opened Harry Potter section at Universal Studios, Florida. It amazes me, that someone’s imagination can be realized, not just through movie magic, but in form of a theme park. I really enjoy living in this century 🙂

Jimmy Fallon: I got the chance to attend a live taping of Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night with Jimmy, show. I’ve always admired Jimmy’s ability to be comfortable in his dorkiness, it actually works in his favor, so, I was very happy for the opportunity to attend and be in the front row at one of his tapings this year.

Bookish Year: I think 2011 was the year I came out of the library as a bookworm. A few days ago, while cooking for Christmas breakfast, my mom was commenting on the fact that I had dubbed my sister my sous-chef and had her washing the dishes and whisking eggs while I prepped. She made a comment that her older sisters use to have her do the same things but that she preferred to be in a corner reading. She also said that, when my grandma stayed by us during the births of my siblings, she’d do my chores so I could go and read if I wanted to. Yes, this is a tangent, but it’s my blog and I can go off on tangents if I want to.

In 2011, I started my book blog ireviewbooks, its companion, a twitter account, and joined a few bookish sites. I attended a lot of book signings, went to Book Expo America and read and reviewed a TON of books. I had a vision for my blog that has been tweaked and has grown and I’m very pleased at the direction it’s headed in. In 2012, I’m hoping to write a bit more and have some original pieces online, to read 10% more books (current count is 68). I also have a Jane Austen project in mind, in time I’ll see how that unfolds.

Friendships: In 2010, I decided to try to expand my “friend circle”, to be more than just friendly but to be friends with more people and make an effort to include others in my “circle”. Those who know me well, know how big a task this was. If I was honest, it  was mostly a failure. It put a strain on the friendships that I already had, to the point where I wasn’t able to handle it anymore, so I threw my hands up in the air and said, “whatever”.

In 2011, I became more selective, and I feel better. I was able to mend the strained relationships from before, to spend quality time with people who were actually interested in spending quality time with me and well, it was just a better year, friendship-wise. I formed better, more meaningful friendships and I didn’t feel thinly spread. The thing is, I had to realize that what I did before – being selective – isn’t necessarily a bad thing. There are people who I will click with regardless of similarities or differences and then there are people who could be just like me but we don’t click at all, and it’s OK, not clicking, it’s OK to just be friendly. At the end of the year, as I think back on the relationships I’ve had this year and the fun times we’ve shared I have to admit, I know a lot of lovely people, and I have some of the greatest friends.

What I get when I Google Image Search "boo"

So what am I looking forward to in 2012?

Well, maybe trips to Prague and New Orleans. Maybe another round at BEA. Definitely more bookish things, but what I’m really looking forward to is keeping the momentum that has been built up in 2011. To dream dreams, to have desires, to live in a way that my life can be meaningful.

I give thanks for 2011, for the good and the bad, because they have shaped my year and made me who I am today. I don’t know what will happen in 2012, but whatever happens, may God’s will be done.


An Abundance of Turkey

This past Thursday was Thanksgiving, the national holiday of over indulging! For Thanksgiving I went down south to the Orlando area; my cousin was hosting the feast at her new house.

We had a lot of food, but what I thought was the most interesting was the three types of turkey.

First there was the turkey roll, which was as yummy as it looked. I mean, ground turkey rolled in a pastry and baked, what’s not to love?

Then we had the main attraction, the juicy Baked Turkey – I can tell you, it was VERY juicy.

Finally, there was Turkey Curry … yes, you read that right, that is curried turkey and it was good.

I think I’m done with eating turkey though … at least until Christmas where we’ll probably have the Turkey Roll again =D