After Sandy

I went to bed last Monday to the sound of the wind outside. Trees were bending in all directions, some almost bowed over, touching the ground with their branches. There were things banging against the side of the house and roof. The house was swaying and there were odd flashes of orange and white in the sky, but no sound of thunder.

That night, I dreamt of destruction.

On Tuesday morning, the destruction was revealed. Thankfully, we only lost a piece of siding and electricity, but the news of devastation was slowing trickling in over the cranked up radio, Long Beach was under water. No gas. No Electricity to thousands of people. Entire houses floated away with the tide. Trees cut houses in half. Cars moved like matchboxes down the street.

In the aftermath of Sandy, the death toll rose, people were left without homes, fuels, water, electricity and gas. The city that never sleeps was half blinded by darkness, forced to stop everything and recover. Manhattan was crippled.

Some are still without those things.

It’s a bit unreal what is going on. Last week involved a lot of cleanup. I spent the entire day on Tuesday getting food to family who were without food and electricity, helping to clean up the mess that the flood left behind. Sometimes I can still smell the stench of the salt water from the bay that covered three feet of their first floor.

My house regained electricity late Wednesday night. The thing though – about having electricity and not a lot of damage and only having to only worry now about a gas tank and transportation to work – I can see how easy it is to forget the hurt that some are still experiencing. Crisis reveals character, and I hope that in this crisis you saw who you want to be revealed in the things you did and said.

A lot of help is still needed, things are still not back to normal for  a lot of people. Work still needs to be done. I’m deeply touched by the stories of heroism that came out of the storm, but I’m also sad at the slim-balls that crawled out of the gutters; the people who preyed on those in trouble.

There are people who still need help, there are many ways to give of your time and money to help those in need if you can, you should definitely look into it.

The photo below is from the morning after Sandy, after the floods came and receded. I look at this photo and I see hope. We are alive, we are well, there is hope.

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth… I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.

Weathering the Storm

Was it just a year ago that the threat of Irene caused thousands of New Yorkers to rush to supermarkets and fill up tubs? As Sandy makes her debut I look back in wonder that a year has past by and that we find ourselves in the same situation, buying canned goods, filling up the tub with water, charging up the electronic devices…

I hope that, like Irene, Sandy will just pass us by, but there is always that small anxiety that this one might be worse than the last, that the lessons gained from the past experience will not be applicable to this current one and that all our preparations were in vain. Sometimes it’s not destruction, but the expectation of destruction that causes anxiety. Does that mean that I shouldn’t prepare? That I should just give up? These are just things I wonder.

I think preparing for things ahead is important, but I think knowing that, even with preparation, things might not turn out great is also important. In any case, be safe, smart and find a good book to read. It’s time to weather the storm.

We Were Infinite*

A beach. A long stretch of sand bordered by a layer of large rocks. The sound of the waves gently touching the shore. The smell of salt. The feel of sand between my toes.

The air. The tension in the air is thick. A storm rages outside the metal box where 150 strangers sit. Lightening flashes between the stormy clouds, and the audible sound of breaths being held can be heard. Finally, we fly out of the storm; safe.

Water and colour. A first former approaches and asks, “Can I put powder on you?”. We race around the school yard, avoiding water and powder, but not nearly as concerned as we pretend to be. Then the after, we laugh together.

Whether it was a lazy moment, a funny moment, or the calm moment after an intense experience, there are times in life when we are so present in that moment, so aware of what is happening, not just seeing it unfold but being an active participant in its unfurling. In those moments, we were infinite.


* This post is inspired by The Perks of Being a Wall Flower. Not only is it a great book and (now) awesome movie, but it’s a wonderful story of the difficult life that we face, and the pockets of joy we experience. Each paragraph is a memory.

[image source]

The Wary Ramblings of a Reformed Tumbleweed

Spamalot, a Broadway play that was an adaptation of Monty Python’s Holy Grail, is quite hilarious. It’s traveling right now, so check it out if it’s near your place of habitation.

There is a song in Spamalot called “I’m All Alone”, the lyrics are funny in the context of the play, but there is a line in the song where Author (and Patsy) sing: I’m all alone, (He’s all alone) all by myself (except for me); I cannot face tomorrow (he cannot face it). I’m all alone (Though I am here) so all alone (so very near) no one to share my sorrow… It’s a funny song, but it kept running through my mind this week. It started on Sunday.

A series of events happened and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and picked up my phone and was about to phone a friend when I stopped myself. I looked at the potential numbers, I turned away. It was a feeling akin to being alone in a crowded room. I wasn’t certain if I would have the attention of anyone, nor was I certain what I wanted to say, or what I could say, so I went to sleep instead. I’d like to be clear, I love being alone, there are many times that I crave solitude, and fewer times that I seek company. However, I also think there is a distinct difference between being alone and being lonely and sometimes this difference is defined by circumstance.

The tumbleweed syndrome. My tumbleweed syndrome is simple, it’s something that I have experienced all my life, social roots are formed and then, for one reason or the other, I break away and flee – this happens for many different reasons, never one in particular. A few years ago I decided that I needed to have some more meaningful relationships, that I needed to stop being a tumbleweed and be rooted. I tried that; there were some successes and I started to feel the roots take hold and grow. It felt great, my tumbleweed days were over. But, this past week as I looked at my phone, as I sent one email to a few undisclosed persons, as I chose to go to sleep or to read instead of reaching out, I felt like the roots were beginning to break, like the wind was calling and the pull to flee reverberated through me. I don’t want to be a tumbleweed anymore, but there is something that I thought of, as I sat thinking about these things, on one hand the breaking and fleeing were intentionally done by the tumbleweed. But what happens when there is nothing left for the root to hold on to? Can you become an unintentional tumbleweed?

2012 Check-in and Adjustment

Can you believe it’s September already!? It felt like January was only yesterday! Well, it’s time to look into the  list of things to do in 2012, and adjust my expectations accordingly. 

Learning another language:
+ Enough to read a French storybook
+ Enough to learn a French song

Still not on track here, though, going to Paris in August did help me brush up on the language, it was enough to get by, however, we didn’t have to use it much since everyone spoke to us in English. I do have Le Petite Prince and managed to read the first few pages – with some assistance.

Lose some weight!
+ running, or some sort of exercise (2 to 3 times a week)
+ walk more
+ drink less espresso drinks
+ eat more veggies and fruits

So, I got a bike! I bike at least 4 miles a day when I bike to the train station, almost every day. I walk more and I eat more veggies and fruits. That’s about the most exercise I’d probably be doing. I do stand and walk a lot – I love walking – and last weekend I danced up a storm to Big Band music and 70s fun music! I am thinking of getting a rebounder, but not really sure how that will work out.

Memorize more (poems or psalm):
+ I have several poetry books that I’ve never finished, read at least one poem a week
+ learn 6 sonnets (or psalms)

Jabberwocky, Sonnet 103, the first part of Hallow Men (which is a super long poem) and most of Sonnet 18 down. I got very distracted with work, so I might just learn one more and the rest of Hallow Men for the rest of the year.

Read 70 books this year:
+ read more non-fantasy fiction
+ read 6 (or 12) non-fiction theology books
+ read 6 non-fiction marketing books

To date I’ve read 60 books! I’m on track, and they are a very eclectic bunch, though, nothing marketing related there and only two theology books. I’ll have to get on that, BEA reading has overtaken my life!

Blog more!
+ On my personal blog

+ On my book blog
+ On my writing blog … that is currently hidden.

I started the writing blog, I keep up my book blog and I recently completed BEDA for August … I think I got this squared away.

Journal more
+ In cursive

Still unmotivated, but I am  bursting. I sat and though, “who can I talk to?” there is just so much going through my head, my heart, and it’s difficult to find someone who is free to listen, so I think this will motivate me to write more. I really do need to, I’m just about to explode!