Five things (21)

The Mom edition

One of the words everyone used when describing my Mom was generous. Generous with her time and with her resources, sometimes going without for herself to help someone else.

Two things Mom taught me, first to let things go that you can’t control and to be a safe place for people.

Three things Mom did that showed me she cared. Standing up for me even when she didn’t agree with me. Allowing me to forge my own path and be independent (though I think I might have given her no choice at times). Cooking specifically for my health when I had major surgery.

Four reasons why I miss Mom. She was the social calendar of the family and had all the events memorized. Her cooking. That she’s not around to ask questions when it comes to owning a house. That she’s not here to help me bully Dad into getting better.

Five things I’d say to Mom if she could hear me now. When I signed the papers for the house I cried because you were not here to witness it with me and celebrate. I’m trying my best to take care of Dad and make sure he’s provided for, but can you please tell him to make it a little easier on me and Shav? I’m still trying to understand why you took off the mask, I hope I made all the right decisions for you when you were incapable of making them for yourself. I know the last word you heard from me was “breathe”, and sometimes when I tell myself to breathe I think of that night and I hope you realized that I would have done anything to make sure you were OK. I didn’t realize the depth of my love for you until I was willing to give up my dreams to take care of you regardless of how you left that hospital, as long as you left it.

Hug your mom if you have her near. Happy Mother’s Day.