Tag Archives: five things

Five Things (24)

Posted in Ballet, Bookish, Cultured by

I’ve had some rough years recently, and because of that, I stepped away from many social events1. I finally feel like being social again so here are five things from June.

— Thing One —

I went to see the ballet! The last time I saw an Alvin Ailey show was b.c.2 so going to see them again, and at BAM, was a treat! They did a selection of performances but my favourite had to be “Are You In Your Feelings?“, the music they chose and the choreography were spectacular. Afterwards, BAM Cafe was hosting Endea Owens, it was free to watch so we hung out for a little while enjoying the jazz. It was a fun night all around and now I want to see more shows!

— Thing Two —

Earlier in the month I invited my cousins over for the Inaugural Cousins’ Lawn Games Day! I hosted and purchased several lawn games, including croquet3, and ordered some BBQ for everyone. While not the first time hosting, nor the first time hosting a large group, because it was a themed day and because I decided to cater instead of going the potluck route, there were a lot more moving pieces to consider. While we didn’t play a single round of croquet – the kids did – we did have a grand time together. I’m hoping next year to expand on the celebrations and make it better – learned a lesson in catering the right amount since wow there was SO MUCH FOOD.

— Thing Three —

I joined a knitting/crochet club. In an attempt to meet more people in my neighbourhood, I decided to sign up for a few clubs and met with the knitting/crochet club folks some days ago. It was a total of five of us, and everyone is so much more advanced than I am so I’m looking forward to learning some new techniques. The first thing I worked on was a lopsided bunny4 and now that that’s finished I’m working on a blanket. Maybe I’ll make everyone presents for the holidays, but I’m trying not to be too ambitious, I still owe a few people scarves from when I took up knitting.

— Thing Four —

I was influenced into purchasing Murdle, a murder mystery puzzle book. I’m trying to support the B&N near my house, especially since I have a B&N membership, so I ordered it for pickup at that location. When I got to the register to pick up my book, two cashiers were excited for me because they both wanted to get the book since they loved the premise, this is one of the reasons I love going to bookstores in person, you get the bookish people who will confirm you made a good purchase. I am looking forward to digging into this for the summer!

— Thing Five —

Sand, it’s nature’s glitter. Going to the beach and dealing with the sand is not my favourite thing in the world, but when my friend suggested we do a beach day for her birthday I had to go. We went to one of the few beaches I enjoy5 and spent almost the entire day there. I thought I’d get a lot of Murdle done because I don’t like going into the water but it turns out that there were quite a few of us who didn’t like the idea of being submerged, so we spent a lot of the time talking and having tons of laughs. I am so thankful for friends and family who lift you up and celebrate with you. I have some of the best people in my life and I am forever grateful for the good times we have together.

~*~

1. And let’s be honest, covid played a big role in not wanting to go out.
2. Before Covid
3. I’ve been fascinated with this game since reading it in stories and seeing pall-mall play out on screen in Bridgerton sparked my curiosity again. I’m lucky to have the space to play it.
4. The pattern isn’t for a lopsided bunny, but with my skill levels that’s the final product. I still love him!
5. The sand is clean and it’s easy enough to find parking.

And I am not afraid of a thousand eyes if they’re above five hundred smiles.

Opportunity, Sia

Five Things (23)

Posted in Opera, Thoughts, Vacations by

May, the month of lofty highs and gut-wrenching lows.

1. I returned from vacation at the beginning of the month, so May kicked off with a feeling of rest, my heart full from the time I spent with friends I haven’t seen in a while. There’s something about being in the presence of good friends, being able to share anything and everything, and generally enjoying each other’s company. May started off spectacularly.

2. Soon afterward the plumber came by to fix the basement pump which meant that the basement is now fully functional! It’s hard to describe the feeling of satisfaction I get when something is fixed and fully functioning. It’s like a dopamine boost and typically I spend the rest of the week looking at the fixed thing and smiling to myself.

3. The upward trajectory continued with me attending my first opera. Attending an opera has been on my bucket list ever since my aunt raved about a performance of Madama Butterfly at the Met Opera, and was recently sparked again after a mezzo-soprano showed up on my TikTok FYP talking about her experience auditioning for opera.

4. Then, death, death, and fire. My friends were facing tragedies of their own and when I offered to send a friend photos of the pages of notes and checklists I made when dealing with the funeral arrangements for mom, the walls of distraction that held the grief at bay came crashing down. Mother’s Day was looming and I had to face the fact that Mom is no longer here. That my friend’s mom was gone. That mom’s good friend had also passed away. Noticeably, I stopped sleeping. That week leading up to Mother’s Day I felt like I couldn’t keep the walls up anymore, the grief was oozing in through the cracks. I tried to distract myself on the day of by completely taking apart my sectional and installing a rug pad under the rug, but I ended the day weeping into my pillow overwhelmed by sadness. Mom’s not here, Dad is sick and there’s no one to call to help me with this new chapter of my life. I’m sure there are people I could call, but I never felt like I was bothering my parents when I asked them questions, not like I feel with anyone else. I know it makes no sense, but my parents were always there whenever I was ready to stop being independent, and I miss having that parental safety to fall back on.

5. The month ended on a higher note with me hanging with friends, hours of “chick time”, attending another opera, and eating good food in a backyard with friends. I hope June is better, but I also know that I need to stop distracting myself from this grief and finally take the time to face it, embrace it, and really start healing.

~*~

The world will fail me left and right, and I will try to run and hide, so come and find me every time.

Plumb, I’m Not Alone

Five Things (22)

Posted in Bookish by

Five cozy mystery series with a magical twist.

Does it have mystery or intrigue; I’ll read it! Whether it’s Agatha Christie or Tara French, any novel with a good mystery and a good twist is a novel for me. I’ve started reading more in the cozy mystery subgenre since the shutdown as a way to get away from “real life” so I feel like I have a good selection of books I can recommend.
Cozy mysteries that I gravitate towards generally have three key elements:
a. there must be an amateur sleuth and the crime affects either the amateur or their friend/loved one.
b. a romantic interest that’s either in law enforcement, or law enforcement adjacent, or else some close friend turned love interest.
c. most of the novel is spent doing something completely unrelated to the crime (which happens off page) like attending parties, baking cookies, knitting… you get the drift.

Within the cozy mystery subgenre, my favorite type is a cozy with a magical twist! These are cozies where the protagonist is also a magical person, like a witch or a psychic. I tend to lean toward the witch device, so here are five cozy mysteries with a magical twist.

Kicking this off with the witchy cozy mystery that made me love the witchy cozy mystery subgenre – Heather Blake’s Wishcraft Mystery. This remains one of my top five cozy mysteries. Darcy and Harper recently lost their dad when their mom’s sister comes back into their lives to tell them that they are witches, and not just any kind of witches but witches that grant wishes. It’s such a funny premise but quite endearing and the characters are pretty out there, but somehow it all works. The romantic interest is of course a retired cop – a single dad with an eleven-year-old who later goes back into law enforcement. There are nine books in the series and while you don’t have to read them in order I would recommend reading them in order since there are some repeating themes that tie the entire series together.

Amanda Flower’s Magical Bookshop series with fun names like Crime and Poetry, and Prose and Cons is next. Currently, there are five books out about Violet, who rushed to her grandma Daisy after she thought Daisy was ill. Instead, she found that Daisy tricked her into coming back to her small town so she could continue the family legacy of running the magical bookshop – the one with a huge magical tree growing inside. Violet ends up staying after her Grandma becomes a prime suspect in a murder case and of course, with the help of the books (yes books) and a magical cat, she solves the crime! This one also has a law enforcement beau, though that comes a little later in the series.

Due to the campiness of the premise I have to include Nancy Warren’s Vampire Knitting Club. Lucy’s grandmother died and left her a knit shop in Oxford so, to get away from her annoying ex she decided to spend time running the shop. Except, her grandmother isn’t really dead because she is a vampire, and those vampires meet in the shop at night to knit; oh, and Lucy finds out from her grandmother that she’s a witch. It’s so silly, and even though they didn’t play the witch plot up as much as I hoped I still devoured all fourteen books. While the love interest here isn’t law enforcement adjacent, he is a vampire who was around since the Elizabethan times. I do have to make an honorable mention to Warren’s Village Flower Shop series which also follows a witch but this time the magic is explored more.

While I consider Juliet Blackwell’s Witchcraft Mystery series to be cozy I think this one might be a bit darker than the rest. Lily runs a vintage clothing shop and part of her magic is to feel vibrations off of old clothing, so a lot of the mysteries deal with clothing in some way. I’ve read the first three from the series so far and will definitely keep reading but I like to keep these for the fall when the spooky season rolls around. I say it’s a little darker because it explores a lot of legends and Blackwell’s descriptions are so immersive at times that you may or may not want to keep the lights on when you go to bed.

While there are only two books in the series and the author has yet to announce a third I will also mention Auralee Wallace’s Evenfall Witches B&B series. Brynn is living with her aunts after the death of her husband. Brynn’s magic is affected – she can speak to the dead – and so we see her dealing with both losses while also trying to save her aunt from a murder conviction. It has a large cast of characters and all of them are interesting to read, the aunts in this series remind me slightly of a version of Zelda and Hilda from Sabrina. From what I found online, Wallace has been sick so unable to write, I wish her well and a speedy recovery.

Happy reading!

~*~

“Oh,” Harper said solemnly. “I love books.”

Heather Blake, It Takes a Witch

Five things (21)

Posted in Thoughts by

The Mom edition

One of the words everyone used when describing my Mom was generous. Generous with her time and with her resources, sometimes going without for herself to help someone else.

Two things Mom taught me, first to let things go that you can’t control and to be a safe place for people.

Three things Mom did that showed me she cared. Standing up for me even when she didn’t agree with me. Allowing me to forge my own path and be independent (though I think I might have given her no choice at times). Cooking specifically for my health when I had major surgery.

Four reasons why I miss Mom. She was the social calendar of the family and had all the events memorized. Her cooking. That she’s not around to ask questions when it comes to owning a house. That she’s not here to help me bully Dad into getting better.

Five things I’d say to Mom if she could hear me now. When I signed the papers for the house I cried because you were not here to witness it with me and celebrate. I’m trying my best to take care of Dad and make sure he’s provided for, but can you please tell him to make it a little easier on me and Shav? I’m still trying to understand why you took off the mask, I hope I made all the right decisions for you when you were incapable of making them for yourself. I know the last word you heard from me was “breathe”, and sometimes when I tell myself to breathe I think of that night and I hope you realized that I would have done anything to make sure you were OK. I didn’t realize the depth of my love for you until I was willing to give up my dreams to take care of you regardless of how you left that hospital, as long as you left it.

Hug your mom if you have her near. Happy Mother’s Day.

~*~

Five things (20)

Posted in Thoughts by

These five things are a little introspective in no particular order.

We are living in an extrovert’s world and I am just an introvert-girl1

It’s a bit exhausting, living inside of my head sometimes.

In the middle of living and working within the constraints of a global pandemic, I experienced a lot of loss. The more I lost the more I retreated into myself until there was a long stretch of time where I didn’t want to hang out or make plans with anyone. Now, coming out of that stretch of time, I feel like I don’t know how to be with company anymore. It’s a struggle to answer simple conversational questions because my knee-jerk reaction is to retreat. Who wants to bring down the crowd with their sad story? And maybe that person is just asking the “how are yous” and “what’s news” to be polite and conversational, maybe they don’t want to hear more than an “I’m fine” or “nothing much”.

Someone asked me the “what’s new” question lately and I genuinely blanked, my brain could not compute quickly enough the level of our acquaintance to deliver the appropriate response. Imagine telling an almost stranger that you don’t sleep well some nights because you think your dad will die and then you’re going to have to take care of the rest of your family, but recently you’ve been working on meditation to lower your stress levels because the stress is causing your body to breakdown since you internalize everything? Yeah, that would be a fun party answer.

What do you say to someone who is grieving?

(photo from LA Times)

After losing my mom I had to deal with a lot of other people’s grief, and it made me wonder, how did I react to someone when they were grieving. I found this article soon after that talked about what to say to someone depending on how far removed from the situation you are and I highly recommend the read to anyone who (like me) wonders just what to say and how to show comfort.

A little emo, a little angst

A few months ago I found my old Live Journal – that I completely forgot about! I reactivated my account and started reading all the posts (most of which were private).

When I look back at college-me, I would never use the word emo to describe her, but after reading my LJ posts I think maybe I was a bit angsty as a teen. Part of me wonders if I feel this way now because I’m reading it through the lens of someone twenty years removed. However, there’s another part of me that recognizes that at that time I was holding a few things in tension and had yet to decide which side of the fence I wanted to land on. I had a worldview that was evolving and as a person who internalizes their thoughts and feelings (and then apparently writes them in a private journal online) a lot of my entries revolved around working those tensions out. Interestingly enough, even though my entries were private, I didn’t have the courage to actually name a lot of my feelings – hoping that future me (well, now present me) would read between the lines. I wonder if I didn’t feel the safety to express myself, or if it was more of the fact that I didn’t want to write something down that I would later change my mind about.

Deconstructing faith

There’s a lot of conversation around the idea of deconstructing faith. A lot of people are leaving their churches and walking away from the faith, deciding to pursue spirituality in other forms, and honestly, I don’t blame them. As a person who was a teen/young adult in the time of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and at the height of purity culture, then witnessed the toxicity found in churches like Mars Hill Chruch it’s so easy to understand why people are walking away.

Personally, I still find something in organized religion – and I found a good community – but I still struggle to untangle myself from the things that I grew up believing in that were not scriptural. The entire idea that women should dress and act a certain way because men can’t seem to be decent humans is insane to me, or the focus on a list of nos and oftentimes very wrong and unfounded rules that are not grounded in actual scripture. One of my favorite podcasts, The Bible Binge2, had an episode on this same topic and it really resonated with me and anchored a lot of the feelings I had on the topic. It’s been slow, but I feel in a better place when it comes to this topic. I have clarity in what I believe, and I am slowly rebuilding around my core values and beliefs3.

There’s hope for the future

In everything, through the highs and lows, I have to admit that I am hopeful. There’s a hope that one day this will all be worth it. That the friendships will grow stronger, that the familial bonds will strengthen, and that, no matter what, we will make it through this. Well, I didn’t really mean to make this entire post feel somber, but I think I achieved that nonetheless. Here’s to the future, here’s to overcoming.

~*~

1 Sing to the tune of Material Girl.
2 The Bible Binge is one of my top 10 podcasts; highly recommend them.
3 I also strongly believe that the God in the bible would not be pleased with conservatism in the US.

I’m crashing like a tidal wave and I don’t want to be… stranded

~ Plumb