Five Things (26)

Posted in Thoughts by

This was a month of happenings…

— Thing One —

I finished another rotation around the sun. In the last year, I’ve made a lot of decisions I didn’t want to make. I high-fived myself for being forward-thinking and making sure my family was safe. I filled out a lot of paperwork and formed a lot of opinions on how our systems work against the elderly and those in need of the most help. I sought professional help after admitting I reached my limit (a hard pill to swallow for me). And, well, I hung out with friends, we laughed together, we cried together, we generally had a fantastic time together. I left my self-imposed island of solitude and I started to live again.

Flowers from my family 🌷

— Thing Two —

I finished some crochet projects! One is this slightly weighted blanket that I’m proud of, even though I used the wrong stitch1 a smaller hook, and ended up using double the amount of yarn I was expected to use. I also made a small cardigan (that I hope fits) for my cousin’s toddler and used some of the leftover yarn to attempt a hat (toque), which came out shorter than I wanted; I’m still considering a pom pom on top.

— Thing Three —

It’s World Cup season and if the USWNT wins this competition they will be the first team to win three in a row. At first, I was planning on watching the highlights, but with the potential for a history-making match, I decided I needed to watch live. First, because of no cable, I had to figure out how to watch it. I landed on Peacock which has Telemundo, so I’m watching the games en Español. The matches are at such crazy times though, I saw the 9pm games but there’s a 3am game that I’m going to sit out2. I also wanted to host a World Cup finals party, but the game is playing at 6am, so I guess that’s not happening!

— Thing Four —

I attended my second game night in Holbrook, this time one of my crochet club acquaintances came with me. We played Kingdomino which I really need to purchase, and Can’t Stop, which was a fun game of chance. I am looking forward to the next one because they have so many different types of games at the event and even though I don’t know anyone there really3, I do enjoy a good board game.

— Thing Five —

There have been some downs this month, and I’m really trying to move past them, so thinking of the happy events, and fun conversations with family and friends has kept me in better spirits. I might feel slightly down, but I’m not alone, and for now, that’s all that matters. I am content, and that will do.

~*~

1. It was supposed to be a double-crochet but it turned into some weird hybrid double/triple-crochet. They say you should just be consistent in crocheting, so I kept on going with the mistake stitch and it became a thing of its own.
2. And since they need that game to proceed I’m going to be too anxious watching it, so I’m going to sleep instead.
3. It’s getting easier being the new person, but I’d rather not be the new person for much longer.

She’s a wannabe hero, yeah she try to be strong. At the end of the hour you find that the tower ain’t standing so tall.

Jennifer Knapp; Into You

Books I loved (so far) in 2023…

Posted in Bookish by

Looking through my Storygraph I decided to pull out five of my top-rated books this year, so without much preamble, let’s get into it!

A Brush With Shadows by Anna Lee Huber is book six in the Lady Darby Mysteries, a series that I absolutely love. Set in the 1800s, Lady Darby is a widow, whose husband wasn’t the best person when he was alive. He forced her to draw human cadavers and when that was revealed after he passed away, she was shunned from society, so she’s a bit salty with society. Each book follows a different mystery that she and her partner Sebastian Gabe ends up solving, but my favorite thing about this book (outside of Huber’s great storytelling) is just how real the characters feel.

The other Anna Lee Huber book that I loved this year was Treacherous Is the Night, the second book of the Verity Kent mysteries. This one is set after WWI when Verity worked as a spy – something that she couldn’t tell anyone in her life, including her husband1. Just like her Lady Darby series, Huber knows how to pull you into her worlds, creating complex characters and weaving exciting mysteries. While I won’t call either series a cozy mystery, the independent amateur female detective motif is the center of both.

Continuing in the mystery vain, Murder on Mulberry Bend by Victoria Thompson is the fifth book in the Gaslight Mysteries series set in New York City at the turn of the century. This follows a midwife (who comes from an affluent New York family), who solves crimes while also taking care of pregnant women across the city. One thing I love about this series is how Sarah Brandt’s backstory and the mystery of her husband’s death are interwoven across all the books. I’ve read eight of these books so far and will definitely be reading the rest.2

This book has been on my TBR pile for a long time and I finally read it this year, The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune was an excellent read. The story is heartwarming and the children are wonderfully written, I love them all. The characters are complex and the world-building is great. I would call this more of a cozy fantasy book, because while there is conflict the focus is more on the characters and relationships.

Finally Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson. I have loved every Margaret Rogerson book that I’ve read so far, and I’m surprised I don’t see her mentioned a lot more on BookTok, but Vespertine was a good read with her signature style of world-building and her down-to-earth female protagonists. The ending leaves it open for a second book, which I would definitely be adding to my TBR.

~*~

1. This reminds me a little bit of the Bletchley Circle – only because there is a group of women who worked in codebreaking during WW1.
2. At this point I realized that my top 15 books this year were all mysteries so if I decided to throw a few of my favourite fantasies that I read this year into the mix.

“We all must deal with our shadows the best we can. No one can conquer them for us.”

Anna Lee Huber, The Anatomist’s Wife

3 Docuseries you should watch

Posted in Religious Musings, The Observer, The Telly, Thoughts by

(If at any time you referred to yourself as a Christian)

Religion has become an (even more so) ultra-sensitive and polarising topic of late, and there are several documentaries and podcasts about mega-churches and popular Christian personalities. As a person who grew up in the Christian subculture and has spent time examining1 my faith, I find these documentaries important to how I define my beliefs, even if I never attended Mars Hill or watched the Duggars when they were on TV. It’s not about judging the content of the documentary, instead, it’s about looking at how the rest of the world perceives Christianity, and whether it is seen through a clear or twisted lens. I don’t think that we’re meant to run PR for Jesus, nor are we meant to be marketers for faith, but if we are representative of what it means to be a Christian, and all the world sees is hate and control, then we are failing at representation, and I want to be a good representation of what it means to have faith.

Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey on Netflix exposes the polygamous fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints organization led by Warren Jeffs (and previously run by his father). This is extremely heartbreaking to watch as it shows just how abusive the organization was, especially towards women2 and children. It’s a four-part series and all episodes are under an hour.

This one was interesting to me because it’s easy to look at it and think, “Wow, I would never fall into a cult like that” but it doesn’t start out so radically all the time, sometimes it sneaks up on you, which leads me to the next one…

When I watched Shiny Happy People on Amazon I felt a sense of relief that I never got into watching the Duggars. I know that the documentary didn’t go into a lot of things, or expound fully on some of the issues they raised, however, there was enough there that will leave you aghast. The ideologies, the way they broke the spirits of their children and indoctrinated them, the whole idea of the Joshua Generation, all of it was both wild and absolutely horrifying.

It’s so easy to put a man above God, I’ve seen it so many times – churches break up and people walk away from the faith when a leader is caught doing something they shouldn’t, because that leader was the focus. I’m not saying that the people who walked away are in the wrong here, no, they were in a situation where they were taught to give reverence to a person and that person took advantage of them, and it happens so much that it’s surprising that there aren’t more of these documentaries. I know many people who admired the Duggars and wished their family was like them because they saw a narrative on television but not the dark side behind the scenes, and I know enough people who had similar family experiences. The fact is this one is so easy to fall into if you’re not careful because it starts in the family and it starts when you are young. This is why I think it’s important to examine your faith and the things you hear from the stage and at home.

Up next we have Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed currently on Max. I love Hillsong worship – Darlene Zschech, Marty Smith, Brooke (Fraser) Ligertwood, these people wrote and performed some of my most beloved worship music. The first songbook I purchased (for piano) was the Hillsong United King of Majesty book. I have led worship and used Hillsong music in my setlist. I would claim that Hillsong Music is the vehicle that rocketed Hillsong into popularity. Yet, they aren’t above scandal and the documentary goes into the corruption in leadership and the way that affected the organization in Australia and around the world. There are several documentaries and a podcast on this issue, and honestly, I’m not very surprised but it does make me sad, especially given my close connection with their music.

Then there’s the question of, given the scandals should we still use their music, there are compelling pros and cons for this but I land on a yes for now3.

One of the biggest themes running through these documentaries is the lack of accountability and transparency. I am suspicious of any non-profit organization that is not transparent in its mission, the way it uses its funding, or how accountability works in leadership. I don’t know if this is the only answer, but I do know that when leaders have no accountability the people they lead suffer. For myself, I try to seek out organizations that show some level of accountability and transparency, and when I think about churches, I try to find those that are social justice-minded and don’t have strange rules4. If you have seen any of these docuseries, I’d love to hear your thoughts5!

~*~

1. People may call it deconstructing but I think it’s important that we are continually examining what we believe and why.
2. There’s a theme here.
3. This is a whole other post, but the long and short of it is that I think that any art, once out in the world, is left to the interpretation of the viewer/reader/listener.
4. One day I’ll be brave enough to talk about my thoughts on purity culture.
5. Find me on socials if the comment section is iffy.

“Be on your guard against false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravaging wolves.

Matthew 7:15; Bible

When you can’t do things by halves but you’re also apathetic

Posted in Thoughts by

Do you live with apathy as your baseline only to switch tracks so quickly when someone finally captures your interest that you’re now examining every conversation and action like a post-game analyst?

Do you spend most of your life letting situations float by, and using phrases like “that’s interesting”, but your face is impassive? Are you more emotive in text than in person? When asked about your passions do you freeze, because you can’t remember the last thing that really moved you? And then do you find yourself crying at the end of a movie or show or in the middle of reading a book? Does a drawing make you weep? Can the person in front of you read your face because all of a sudden your face doesn’t know how to play poker?

Is 75% of your time spent procrastinating, until the deadline looms large, then do you bang out the best work you’ve ever done in your entire life because even though you don’t like working under pressure you really only get your best work done under pressure — or so you tell yourself so you don’t feel bad about living your life that way? Has your mother ever told you that you could probably do great work if you stopped procrastinating?

When someone tells you they like something, do you then decide that you need to do that something for that person and you do it at 110% because surely you must show them you do actually listen to the words coming out of their mouths and you appreciate them? Have you hyper-fixated on making crochet stuffed animals even though you have no children and now you’re known as the person who crochets stuffed animals in your group of crocheting friends?

Do you wonder why you spend so much time overthinking if you really are as apathetic as you claim to be? Are you me? Or do you have your life in order?

~*~

I was thinking, over thinking… Cause there’s just too many scenarios to analyze; look in my eyes cause you’re my dream please come true.

Relient K Over Thinking

Five Things (25)

Posted in Media, Podcasts by

5 podcasts on recent rotation

I’ve listened to a lot of true crime podcasts, but lately, I wanted to introduce some more cozy podcasts into my life. Here are five of my fave, light, and funny podcasts that are on recent rotation.

I followed Ceara on TikTok and was happy to see that she started a podcast with her friend Griff. Petty Crimes is one of the few podcasts I listen to on 1x speed, not because they speak too quickly, but because I want to savor every moment of the show. They typically talk about sticky social situations and determine whether the author (or protagonist) was petty or not. They are both funny and I love the way they interact with each other.

My guilty pleasure of watching Love is Blind on Netflix has spilt over to podcasts with Natalie and Deepti’s Out of the Pods. They discuss the newest episodes of the show (starting with season 4), and they have guests during the “off-season”, some from that and other shows. I love hearing about the behind-the-scenes process and the stories from the participant’s point of view. Knowing that reality TV is heavily edited, it’s great hearing some of the details and the bits that didn’t make it into the show.

One of my all-time faves, The Bible Binge, has been in heavy rotation lately. Since I listened to their purity culture episode I’ve been a fan. I love the way Jamie and Knox approach the topics and stories, and Erin’s gentle rebukes provide such rich context. I always feel challenged when I finish an episode – and I genuinely feel like these are my people. I would absolutely invite them over for tea. Honourable mention is The Popcast with Knox and Jaime – particularly their “Nos of” episodes.

I stumbled upon Everybody Has a Secret via TikTok this year and have been binging on their episodes. I love Annabelle and her guests and co-hosts. Listeners send in a secret that they’ve been keeping, and while some of the stories are a bit crazy the show is often entertaining (unless you’re cringing).

Finally, and this is my most recent listen, is Doing the Best We Can with Eddie Kaufholz. Eddie was (is?) on the Relevant Magazine podcast and I liked him there, so I thought that perhaps I’d enjoy his podcast as well – and I do! They are primarily slice-of-life stories and his ponderings, but I do like what I’ve heard so far.

~*~

But, Harry Potter fanfiction (Harry Potterotica, say it right) where Draco and Harry are getting it on in the Gryffindor common room, that’s more Apocrypha.

The Bible Binge, Judith